In the future we'll all be gay
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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