There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
