im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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