i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize