I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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