I accidentally burped into my bong.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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