It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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