so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
