I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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