i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
sarcasm needs its own font
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
