I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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