I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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