He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
nutella sex= disaster
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
