he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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