brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
