i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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