She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize