Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
