I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
