need another drink. this is the easiest way
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
