Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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