used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
