why didn't you poke me back
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Randomize
