tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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