atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
