Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
