They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
