And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
