If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
