so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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