so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
