Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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