but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
