you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
