I don't think brook has ever known best
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
