Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
