She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
