Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
