SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
