So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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