I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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