Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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