Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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