Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
