my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
