but the lizard people decide everything anyway
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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