??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
