When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
