i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize