are you still at the devil's house?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
