a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
