Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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