Screwed.edu
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
