hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
