why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
