I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize