She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize