So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
