he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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