Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
