I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
