Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My life is pants optional.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
