ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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