I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
